Wednesday, October 7, 2015

Week in Seven Words #264

The fluorescent lights wash the life out of her face. She stares at me with smudged eyes.

It occurs to me that I'm only really learning at this point in life what to do with anger. Before, my conscious attitude towards it was, "Don't have it" and "Feel guilty about having it." I hadn't really thought of it as a healthy emotion, although - when confronted, understood and directed in mature ways - it definitely can be. Denying it is self-destructive.

Books with gilt-edged pages bursting out of mahogany shelves.

It's not ignorance that bothers me so much as people acting triumphant about what they don't know. They're proud to not make an effort to learn or think about something, even while sharing their opinion or making decisions about it. They smirk at my frustration, like they've beaten me at a game I never agreed to play. At this point, I try not to engage with them, or I don't show much of an emotional response when I do. Easier to do when there's no personal connection between us; but also manageable when there is, though that involves giving up on a part of the relationship.

When someone tries to take their problems out on me, one thing I do is picture them the way they looked as young children. This makes their adult-sized tantrum less stressful. Though they want me to parent them and deal with their problems for them, I don't want to be a stand-in for their mother.

Pink stickers, Hershey's kisses - little things that brighten a run-of-the-mill evening of homework and TV.

He stares at the orange, pink and white floral sofa. Then shrugs and arranges himself elegantly on it.